Don't take this the wrong way

God I cringe when I hear those words. You just know it's going to be followed by something that of course you'll take the way it's meant to be taken, but the person speaking them hopes you'll think it's the wrong way so they'll not be in trouble.

So today, while sitting at Dairy Queen eating french fries dipped in mayonnaise, my friend says those words to me. I'm thinking 'shit, what now?' Said friend says 'why is it that some people seem to carry all their weight in their butt and thighs? I'm relieved that the subject isn't about money or something 'bad'. I explain that everyone has different body shapes blah blah blah. I go on to tell him about a girl I went to high school with that looked like Sponge Bob Square Pants. She was a block from the waist up and had tiny little stick legs. I said I was glad I was fat all over.

I dipped another french fry and my menopausal brain kicked in. As I chewed the first half and double dipped the second half back into the mayo, I remembered the very first sentence. The one that started the conversation. "Don't take this the wrong way but...." OMG the only reason anyone would say that, followed by a question, is if I had the answer to the question. So, the question, 'why do some people carry all their weight in their butts and thighs', was aimed at someone he thought had first hand knowledge of the answer!

If that isn't the kick in the pants I need to get back on my WW program, I don't know what is.

I guess he had a big enough target.