My husband watches Regis and Kelly each morning. No, that's not the 'why' in the title, though it is a good question. I find Regis simpering and an insult to my intelligence on a daily basis. Kelly isn't too bad, though I think she's an anorexic, over extended, little rich girl. Needless to say, Regis & Kelly is not a show I'd ever flip to on my own. Oh, I just remembered the thing that pissed me off was on the morning news and not R & K. I'll just leave this rant here anyway as, well as it's my blog and I can.
So, my husband watches the morning news each day. Today being no different, it was blaring in the background while I was trying to mainline my morning coffee and chat with my friend on the computer. The two women newscasters, and I use the term lightly, were talking about a miracle berry. I had to look up at that of course. Miracle? Berry? What could this miracle berry do? Could it perhaps cure cancer? Could it unclog blocked arteries making heart disease extinct? Could it cure a baby of Cystic Fibrosis therefore avoiding a lifetime of misery? Could it be the elixir that could, if eaten correctly, bring peace to all the nations that seem to hate each other and find their only solution to this hatred is to kill each other? I mean it IS a miracle berry after all.
Oh no, this was not to be. This 'miracle berry', Synsepalum dulcificum to be exact, (I guess they thought we couldn't handle the biological name of the berry as they never spoke it on the newscast) makes sour things taste sweet. Hello???? WHY??? Holy shit people THIS is what you call a miracle??? I was stunned. I was more than stunned. I was pissed off to the nth degree. I'd wasted a few minutes of my life waiting to hear all about this damn berry and all it does is make sour things sweet? Who the fuck cares??????? If you want sour things to taste sweet, put sugar on it. Better yet, eat something sweet to start with!!! Oh my God my intelligence was insulted (yet again) as these two bimbos went on and on tasting different things and saying , oh yes, it's sweet! NO SHIT!!! It's a berry that makes sour things sweet...what did you expect???
The all knowing 'they' say there is no danger to eating this fruit. Yes there is. It makes you stupid.
Why yes, I do believe
4 years ago