My State

I thought I'd blog about my state today as it's kind of interesting. This all started the other day when I was sitting on the toilet perusing a Reader's Digest. I read about something being invented in MI. I can't remember what it was now of course to share it with you. I live in Michigan for those of you that didn't know, or haven't figured it out by now. It's made up of 2 peninsulas. The upper peninsula or 'Da UP' is anyting north of the Mackinac Bridge. I live in the lower part, making me a troll.

We've got Hell and Paradise in MI. You can go from one to another in a day and see which you like best!

There was an old guy in my town...yes my very own town, named Tommy Durden. Now when I knew Tommy (he's pretty dead now I think), he would sit in one of the local bars and drink himself silly. He'd then get people to buy him beers if he would belly flop across the bar's wood floor. I'm sure he got splinters in his belly, but he also got free beer which was his goal in life. This isn't the interesting thing about Tommy though. I'm sure you've all heard of Elvis Presley and maybe even one of his hit songs 'Heartbreak Hotel'. Well, Tommy Durden wrote (co-wrote if you read Wikipedia) that song. Yep, my own Michigan hometown, drunk out of his mind, belly floppin Tommy.

I don't want to overstimulate you so this is enough for now. I'll share more neat stuff another day. Besides, the best thing about Michigan is the weather. Right now the sky is a gorgeous blue with just a few puffy white clouds scattered around, and the rocking chair on my front porch is calling me.

Dead wood

It was gorgeous here the other day & I was out working in my lovely gardens. I was deadheading my roses, peonies, and lilacs. I love tending my lilacs as they're my favorite flower. I was cutting off all the dead flowers, as that's what you're supposed to do. I got thinking that sometimes in our life it's necessary to do a bit of pruning too.

Life is short, and as I'm older now, I've decided to make the most of it.

For me, life is too short to hang around people that get me down. I don't mean when my friend has an occasional bad day. I fully plan to be there for him/her. I mean I've got a few people in my life that are never happy. No matter what happens to them, it's not good, or good enough. You know what? Life is tough sometimes, but man you just have to find the bright spot. I honestly believe there is always a bright spot. You just have to look. If I'm having a good day, I expect you to be happy for me. I don't expect you to be jealous of me. I'm not jealous of you, I'm happy for you. If you can't celebrate with me, and I with you, I'm afraid I shall have to cut you from my life with my metaphorical pruning shears.

Yep, sometimes you just have to get rid of the dead wood.

THIS is news????? WHY????

My husband watches Regis and Kelly each morning. No, that's not the 'why' in the title, though it is a good question. I find Regis simpering and an insult to my intelligence on a daily basis. Kelly isn't too bad, though I think she's an anorexic, over extended, little rich girl. Needless to say, Regis & Kelly is not a show I'd ever flip to on my own. Oh, I just remembered the thing that pissed me off was on the morning news and not R & K. I'll just leave this rant here anyway as, well as it's my blog and I can.

So, my husband watches the morning news each day. Today being no different, it was blaring in the background while I was trying to mainline my morning coffee and chat with my friend on the computer. The two women newscasters, and I use the term lightly, were talking about a miracle berry. I had to look up at that of course. Miracle? Berry? What could this miracle berry do? Could it perhaps cure cancer? Could it unclog blocked arteries making heart disease extinct? Could it cure a baby of Cystic Fibrosis therefore avoiding a lifetime of misery? Could it be the elixir that could, if eaten correctly, bring peace to all the nations that seem to hate each other and find their only solution to this hatred is to kill each other? I mean it IS a miracle berry after all.

Oh no, this was not to be. This 'miracle berry', Synsepalum dulcificum to be exact, (I guess they thought we couldn't handle the biological name of the berry as they never spoke it on the newscast) makes sour things taste sweet. Hello???? WHY??? Holy shit people THIS is what you call a miracle??? I was stunned. I was more than stunned. I was pissed off to the nth degree. I'd wasted a few minutes of my life waiting to hear all about this damn berry and all it does is make sour things sweet? Who the fuck cares??????? If you want sour things to taste sweet, put sugar on it. Better yet, eat something sweet to start with!!! Oh my God my intelligence was insulted (yet again) as these two bimbos went on and on tasting different things and saying , oh yes, it's sweet! NO SHIT!!! It's a berry that makes sour things sweet...what did you expect???

The all knowing 'they' say there is no danger to eating this fruit. Yes there is. It makes you stupid.

Twelve Oreo's aren't a lot

When they follow egg drop soup with fried won ton noodles and crispy fried boneless almond chicken on a bed of lettuce, all covered with a wonderful creamy gravy. Oh yes nestled next to a mountain of fried rice.

Four people + One package of Oreo's=12 Oreo's for each person. Who knew?

Working girl

I start my new job tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it.

I guess I shouldn't say new as I don't have a current, or old job. I shall change that to "I'm going to work tomorrow." It's been quite a long time since I've been in the work force. Oh wait, unless you count that two weeks I worked with Den last year at the nursing home as his kitchen bitch. I pretty much don't count that. I try not to remember it in fact. I'm going to work tomorrow at our local pizza place, Buccilli's. Den is a prep cook there and I'll be the salad lady. A real family affair.

I owned and operated a day care for years and that's pretty much the last income earning thing I did. I was my own boss then so it's been a REALLY long time since I had to do what someone else told me to do. It should be interesting to say the least.

I've thought of getting jobs over the last few years but something always got in the way. My friend was here for the summer so I didn't want to work and leave him home alone. It might have interfered with my morning coffee ritual. I might not have gotten to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I've always had uneasy thoughts when I thought of getting a job. Not this time. I'm at peace with the decision. We need money, I can help. Quite a no brainer really. I have no qualms about going into work tomorrow at all. I'm actually looking forward to it. I'm thinking it's because I know it's only for 4 months. I can do anything for 4 months. We leave for the promised land then and this will help us get there.

I subdued the fat broad

As I blog about lots of different things, I've decided if my blog is Weight Watcher related, I'll always have a clue in the title. That way, those not interested in that aspect of my life can easily skip it.

As the title suggests, I had a major success today. I not only subdued the fat broad, I kicked her ass and left her to die a slow, painful death. That bitch never knew what hit her. You see, she has ALWAYS been stronger than me. In my whole entire life I've never, ever, ever, fought temptation. If I was somewhere and I truly wanted something, I caved and had it. There's always tomorrow right? Life is short an I intend to enjoy every minute of it. I mean that cake won't be there tomorrow. Those M & M's won't be there tomorrow. Oh God in heaven help me not to salivate on my keyboard here and electrocute myself, but those corn dogs at the open house I went to today won't be there tomorrow either right? I might as well have it while I can. I can get back OP tomorrow.

I went to this open house today with a plan. This is the house across the street from me. I've known these people for 25 years and I want to tell you, the women in that family can cook! At the beginning of the week I just planned to save all 35 of my flexies to use today. I'm fine with that. Then, 2 days ago, I saw a truck back in with a gargantuan smoker/grill on the back. I thought ohhhhhh maybe they're going to do ribs! Oh God I love pig surrounded in fat especially if it's dipped in a sweet, heavenly BBQ sauce. The fatter & saucier the better and don't even freaking bother me with a napkin. I'll lick every bit of that nectar of the gods from my fingers. If you get too close to me, I'll suck your digits too. Oh I do adore pork fat. Sorry....I think I blacked out there for a moment, but I'm back now.

I was out getting the mail the other day and Maryann (Mom of graduate across the street, cook extraordinaire, and all around sweet lady) ran over to ask me something. I of course inquired about the grill. They were going to do chicken she said. I held my tears in check until I got back in the house. No pig???? What the frick was she thinking????? I composed myself, wiped the snot away, and grudgingly thought MAYBE this could be a good thing. I've been hungry for BBQ chicken. This could maybe be a VERY good thing. I revamped my eating plan for today. I planned to eat nothing but a chicken thigh at the open house. It would be exactly what I want, and I'd eat something else when I got home. I thought a bit more about that today, I know, more thinking. What the hell is going on here???? I thought she might have some fruit and veggies. Now, those of you that know me, know I abhor veggies and I loathe most fruits. They would be available if I needed to munch after my chicken though.

I woke up this morning at 6:30 to the heavenly smell of the smoker so have been drooling all day long. Den had to work so we were waiting until he got home to go over. He walked in the door at 4 something and I said "LET'S GO!" "LET'S GO NOW!!!" Dennis may be slow about some things, but he knows never to stand between me and food. He showered in record time and we strolled slowly across the street. OK, so we broke speed records, but I didn't want to seem too eager. I pretended that I was headed for the box to put the card in, but I really just wanted to scope out the food! I guess I went in with blinders on as I was looking for specific things and that's all I saw. Fruit? Check. Veggies? Check. BBQ Chicken? Check. Diet pop? Check. Awesome. That's when something hit me and I swear to all that is holy I don't know what. I decided to put a veg on my plate first. OK, putting a veg on my plate is huge. Doing it first is unheard of. That little piece of cauliflower sitting there gave me a feeling of power. If one tiny cruciferous floret did that, what would 2 do? With trembling hand, I reached down with the tongs and removed another floret from it's nest. I put it on my plate. Oh God I was going back again! This time I took 2 carrot sticks. Holy shit shield your women and hide the children, I was going in for a cucumber next!!!! A wedge of watermelon followed the cucumber. All of a sudden there were some strawberry slices and some grapes on my plate and it was full! What the hell is this world coming to??? I took a bit of dip, grabbed a diet pop and sat down and actually ate what was on my plate. OK folks, that wasn't the news. The news was, I LOVED IT! I finished that, did a bit of chatting and then went back to get my BBQ chicken thigh.

I left the table, stopped to visit with a few people and went back into the garage where the food was. That's when it happened. I glanced around at the rest of the spread. I'm not sure why, but that's when I saw the corn dogs. Corn dogs! At a high school graduation! Who are these people anyway??? Next to pork fat, a weenie on a stick wrapped in cornbread and deep fried is right up there on my list of favorite things. I looked around for reinforcements. There weren't any. Nobody there to help me with my plight. I broke out in a sweat and my heart started beating fast. I wanted that corn dog and I wanted it BAD and I wanted it NOW. I shut my eyes, yes I really, really did. I took a deep breath with my hands clenched at my sides. I told myself that I came in for chicken and chicken was what I was leaving that garage with. I'm pretty sure God fainted at that moment. Satan shit his pants as that's probably the first time he didn't win. I took the tongs, broke apart a chicken leg and thigh and took just the thigh and I marched back to my chair. I peeled off the skin and threw it on Den's plate so I wouldn't be tempted as of course I adore chicken skin. I started to take a bite of the chicken when I realized the enormity of what just happened. I wanted something and I didn't have it. Holy shit people this is HUGE!!! Den looked at me and asked if everything was OK. I must have looked like I was having a heart attack. I said 2 words "corn dog". He, with a look of sympathy, said "oh no". I looked at him, awe in my eyes, and I said "I didn't eat one". After I helped him up off the grass, I thoroughly enjoyed my skinless, smoked, BBQ chicken thigh.

Buddha bellies bonding

Hi everyone, my Grandma Debby is going to tell you my story today as I haven't learned how to type yet. Sorry about the drool on my shirt, but it's hard work dictating.

This is my Grandpa Dennis. Me and him hang out every single day. He's a cool guy 'cuz he talks to me like I have a mind. He tells me what he's done for the day and he even listens to my answers like what I have to say is the most important thing in the world. We've got a lot in common my Grandpa and me. We've got Buddha bellies. My Daddy likes to blow raspberries on mine. Nobody seems to do that to Grandpa's. I wonder why? Anyway, my Grandpa's Buddha belly makes a great armrest for me while I'm telling my story!




Sometimes we watch the food channel together. That's what we're doing here. My Grandpa is a chef. My Daddy is too. My Mommy can cook like a dream, and Grandma's grub isn't too shabby either. Guess we know where Grandpa's Buddha belly came from!




My Buddha belly here comes only from formula. So far, no gourmet food for me!



Gosh I love my Grandpa. I don't know if it's his shiny bald head or what, but this man just fascinates me! We talk every day like I said, and right now he's telling me that he mowed the lawn today and that I can help him next year! I just can't wait to ride on his big lawnmower with him!

We laugh a lot together too. I like to laugh. My Grandpa likes to laugh. Grandma says we're so cute when we play together.

I wore myself out here and I need a nap. So does Grandpa. We'll talk more later.

Circle of life

I was sitting in my rocker on the front porch today after mowing the lawn, when I noticed this spider having a snack. It got me thinking. I know, that is a dangerous thing, but I do it now and then anyway. Said spider is munching on what we call a fishfly. It's proper name is a mayfly. I suspect we started calling them fishflies as they hatch on the surface of the water and make delicious ready meals for the fish below. Circle of life. They leave the water and head toward the nearest light. Oh yes, did I mention they hatch at night? By the million? Oh, and the poor old fishfly only lives about 24 hours. They're born, they do whatever it is they do to reproduce, and then they die. So if you live on, or near the water, when you wake up in the morning, your abode is covered with these creatures. We'd have to go out each morning and sweep them off and the birds would come eat as many as they could hold. Circle of life.


When I left this spider, he was the top of the food chain.





He's not as big as this picture makes him look, so I doubt he'll remain at the top of the food chain long. Circle of life.




I got bored watching the feast after a while and started thinking about my gardens. I do so love my gardens. I planted them with great thought as to which flowers bloomed when. I love color. I always want something in bloom. I've got early blooming plants and medium blooming plants and late blooming plants. I've got plants that stay in bloom all summer, and some just plain old remain green and vibrant. So, right now in my garden I've got things just ready to burst into bloom, while others have died already. These are all perennial flowers so they 'die' each fall and are 'born' again each spring. Eternal circle of life. Gotta love that!



Below is my Easter Lilly, one of the plants getting ready to flower. Never blooms at Easter, but that's it's name anyway. It smells divine when it blossoms and has lovely white flowers.

Ahhh my roses. They're prolific. I've 2 bushes, a red, and a pink. They each have well over 50 buds on them and they will bloom off and on all summer long. The pink one is gorgeous and the red one has a heavenly scent. Each have their own beauty. Right now I've got the gorgeous buds you see below, and also roses that have budded, bloomed, and the petals have fallen to the ground. Circle of life.

The flower nearest to my heart is the lilac. Oh I love these. I think this could be the single thing that would keep me from moving to Florida year round. Florida does not have lilacs. They're the first thing to come to life in the spring, and the scent is divine! Oh my dear it makes me swoon to think about it. I don't think there's any smell on earth I like more. I've got early blooming lilacs and late blooming lilacs also. My early bloomers are dead and gone for another year. The one below, one of my late bloomers, is just beginning to come into full blossom.

This is a whole bunch of lilac bushes I dug up and planted together. Some are early, some are late. The thing most interesting about clump of lilacs is the smallest bush you see right in the front there. This was a lilac bush that my sons bought me the first year we lived in this house. That was 1987. It's never grown bigger than this and I've come to the conclusion that it's a dwarf lilac. When I was a little girl we had a HUGE lilac bush in the front yard. It was my mom's favorite flower too. I wish she were with me now to see mine. I sit with my grandson in the rocker on the front porch and we smell them together. Circle of life.

This pine you see was our Christmas tree the first year we lived in this house. We bought it live, decorated it for the season, and then planted it in the spring. I love this tree.

I do, however, hate the birds that nest in this tree EVERY year. They wake me up tweeting at 5:30AM EVERY morning. Circle of life my ass. I'd shoot them if my aim were better.

Silence is golden

I, however, would know nothing about this anymore. You see, I have tinnitus. I've done an amazing job of masking it and not letting it wreck my life. I have NO idea how I've done this as I've read about this for years and thought there could be nothing worse in the universe to suffer from. I mean they say the reason Vincent VanGogh cut his ear off was because he suffered from tinnitus. I don't know who 'they' are, but 'they' said it for sure! Anyway, I've done a fabby job of living with it I think. I keep a very loud fan on at night right next to my bed so it's that I hear and not the ringing. During the day there is sound everywhere and I'm able to ignore it for the most part. I just plain will not let it drive me insane, as face it, that's a darn short trip most days!!!

Tonight at approximately 8PM our power went out. More precisely, we had a brown out. I've never in my life experienced a brown out and had no idea what to do or how to deal with it. I finally noticed, over the ringing in my ears, that things were buzzing and should probably be unplugged. I'm sure the TV wasn't supposed to be making noises like some Namibian caught behind the set, but it was. The fridges were buzzing like swarms of bees and the furnace...oh my I hope I never hear the sound it was making again! The CO2 detector went off. I'm hoping it was because of the decreased power to it and not because the furnace malfunctioned and tried to gas us all to death. Anyway, got everything unplugged that was making noise and settled down in the chair to wait for it to turn back on so I could plug stuff back in. I mean we didn't want the food to spoil or anything! As we were sitting there, the brown out ended and the black out began. We had NO power at all now. Probably a much better state to be in actually. Finally decided it could be the middle of the night before it came back on and I was tired. I went to bed and turned on the bedroom light so if the power came back on, I would be blinded and spring forth from my bed to replug the stuff. That's when the cacophony began. Oh my you just don't realize how silent it gets when there's no electrical hum of anything at all around you. All I could hear was the shrill tone in my ear. I turned every which way to no avail. At one point I nearly had heart palpitations as I thought the ringing had spread to the other ear as well, but it turned out to be just the crickets and tree frogs. They were singing up a storm. Needless to say I couldn't get to sleep so was awake when the lights came on and blinded me!

Everything so far seems to be OK. The fridges are humming now instead of buzzing. The TV came on and the modem is obviously working. The dishwasher is running and the coffee pot is set for morning. I'm off to bed now with my fully operational turbo fan remote in hand. It is officially now my bestest friend in the world and I will appreciate it more now than I ever have before!!!

Veggies

I think they should be stricken from the face of the earth.

Thank you very much for your time.

OK, who brought the fat chick?????

Well, as I've forayed into this world of blogging, I've never really blogged about anything that meant anything to me and I wish to do so now.

As all the people in my life know, I've been fat all my life. Yep, 3rd grade on. For my friends across the pond, 3rd grade made me 7 years old as I started school when I was 4, and not the usual 5. It may not be politically correct to say I'm fat, but let's call a spade a spade shall we? I could say I'm chunky, chubby, fluffy, or sugar coat it some other way, but face it, if I sugar coated it, I'd probably eat it!

I've tried every diet under the sun. I found one that works, if I just stick with it. I first joined Weight Watchers in 1978 before my impending nuptials. That barely lasted until I got my fat ass, swathed in yards and yard of white satin down the aisle! Forget the honeymoon, man did we enjoy our groceries! I had babies, 3 of them, one after the other and gained of course with each. I did one good thing though, I didn't bring my boys up with the same bad habits I had. I taught them to eat right. They were NOT going to have the same problems mama had! I've gone to WW off and on since then. I lost 170 pounds in 1992, well beginning in 1992 of course, and decided I could go it alone from then on. I 'only' had about 70 more pounds to lose and surely I could lose it at home without paying for meetings I thought. Um, that's what I get for thinking! I gained 40 pounds the first month of doing it on my own! Talk about hard work wasted! I stayed at that weight for about 10 years though. I was happy enough. I could do all the things that previously I couldn't. I could sit in a booth in a restaurant. I could fit in an airplane seat. I could tie my shoes. I could fit in the seat of a roller coaster. I could fit in the seat at the theater...seeing a trend here? I could buy clothes in the store where previously I had to make my own. Life was good. It seemed I was destined to stay at this weight. Then the Kraut made the needle on the scale move.

Dennis and I went for a lovely visit to Alabama to visit his brother and wife, the Kraut. Louisa is the most wonderful woman you'll ever want to meet. She can sew up a storm and knit anything that resembles yarn and well she's just good at everything. Her most amazing talent is her cooking. Oh my dear can that woman cook! We were there for 5 days and I gained 9 pounds! I still dream of the schnitzel and spatzle and strudel we made and consumed. We ate German potato salad and...well we ate pretty much everything that didn't move, and a few things that did! We drank a bottle of wine every night...EACH! I also discovered Hardee's chocolate malts on this trip and had to have 2 of those each day too. I wasn't worried, after all, I'd stayed at the same weight for 10 years, this would be a temporary gain. Earth to Debby!!! It was not temporary!!! Now I'd put back on over 50 of the hard fought to lose pounds! I decided then that I should go back to Weight Watchers. Only problem was, my heart wasn't into it. Frogged around for a few years and went up and down and back up again. Finally, two years ago, something clicked. I decided it is time to take the last step of the journey. It might take me the rest of my life, but I'm ready to begin. I lost the 40 I had gained in the first month of my doing it on my own from 1992. Those pounds were much harder to get off this time!!! I then went on to tackle the 9 pounds the Kraut helped me to put on. They were MUCH harder coming off than they were going on!!! Then, the amazing thing happened this winter. I got into virgin fat territory! I was actually losing weight I'd never lost before! How empowering that was! I'm sure I'll lapse on my journey, but this fat chick is in it til the end!

This was me before.

This is me now. I'm sure you can tell by the chocolate cream pie in my hand I still have a ways to go on my journey! I am balancing it out with a diet coke though. They cancel each other out don't they??? Oh my wish me luck...I think I'm going to need it!