Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Why do you want to live with a bunch of old people?

That's a question my girlfriend Sherry has asked me. I got it again just yesterday. The place next to ours is for sale and there was a couple looking at it. Of course, being the neighborly type, I said hello. The woman was worried about living here with a bunch of old people. This couple won't retire for 2 years yet. She looked at me and said 'You look young' (thank you very much) 'what do you DO with these old people?'. I looked at her and wondered where to begin. I started by asking her if she knew what I was doing before I went over to say hi to them. She, of course didn't. I was resting in the chair I told her. These old people will run your ass ragged!

Today I went to floor exercises at 9AM. I assumed, (yes I know) that it would be a bunch of oldies sitting in chairs waving their feeble arms about. 'I can do that' I thought. I walked in and there were toning bands sitting on the table. The lady pointed at 3 in the back that were old and told me I might want to use those...they're stretchier and easier to use. Hrumph, I'm the youngest one here I thought, I need the new, tight ones! I compromised by taking the medium stretch ones. We all went to the middle of the room and waited for our leader to start us. All of a sudden on the big screen TV Richard Simmons started to yell at us. We'd start with a warm up I was told. Oh sure, no problem. Finished that and I was praying it was nap time! Oh no, that was not to be. Now we're going to tone our legs. We stepped on the band and pulled the stretchy thing taut. Watching the screen, trying not to fall on my ass, my thighs were screaming 'STOP YOU STUPID BITCH THIS HURTS!!!' Just when I thought I couldn't do more, I found we were now going to start toning our backs. Good Lord the contortions I put myself into. I was lucky to not black my eye with the toning bands. Who needs a toned back anyway???? We went from there to toning our arms and other body parts. I thought I was going to die. My arms and legs felt like Jell-O. It was finally time to cool down. That part was even hard! I just wanted to crawl home and take a hot shower. Knees hurt, arms hurt, even my eyelids hurt. I'm getting ready to leave and one lady says 'Ohhhh don't leave now! Grab your suit it's time for pool exercises!'. Holy shit Batman I don't think so!

So, what do you DO with the oldies? You do what you can to keep up and take lots of naps!

Where the hell did I put my Aleve????


Katherine said...

I'm smiling at your post. I took an elderly friend up to Auckland recently. She was very street-savvy, and we nearly had 'words' when I wouldn't do what she suggested - she wanted me to 'do a youie' in the middle of Queen Street! She is amazing!

Luanne said...

So how much is the place next to yours. I'm thinking my butt and thighs could use some of that old people exercise.

On a side note - I couldn't help but think of the cheering our dads must have been doing last night when the election results rolled in. I was a terrible disappointment to my dad in that department.