Monday, April 21, 2008

Just like Santa Claus

Ho ho ho. Ok, tis not the season but I felt like the jolly old fat man while getting ready to leave Florida. I made a list, I checked it twice. Nay, I checked it thrice! I started days in advance with the packing and cleaning and multitude of things it takes to close up a dwelling for 5 months. Did I mention 5 hot months? You have to worry about mold, mildew, bugs, mice, sun damage, and probably a host more things that I can't remember at this early hour. So, in preparation for leaving I covered all the windows with insulated, sun reflecting board. I put out pans of kitty litter and charcoal to absorb odor and moisture. I covered the toilet bowl and toilet tank with saran wrap to keep the water in there so the rubber bits don't dry out and crack. Covered all the chairs and beds with a sheet to keep dust off, but not keep moisture in. Brought all the bikes in and turned them upside down so they're not resting on their tires as resting on their tires as they're made to do rots the rubber in FL. I set out ant and roach traps everywhere and made sure there wasn't a scrap of food left in the place to entice beasties. There are tons more things that were done....but you get the drift. It's a freaking lot of work.

Yesterday at 12:30, we closed the tonneau cover on the truck and tossed the dog in her traveling abode, hugged our friends one last time, and off we went. We were secure in the notion that we'd done everything necessary, as of course there were the said lists! We'd packed a lunch so we didn't have to stop at a restaurant and leave the dog in the hot car. We were thinking.

We got 150 miles down the road and stopped for a lovely lunch. Dog frolicked in the grass and all was good. Got back in the truck and on the road and of course, that's when it hit me. The conversation went like this.
I: Den, did you take out the trash in the kitchen when I asked you to?
Den: I think I did.
I:Den, do you 'think' you did, or do you 'know' you did?
Den: (head hanging now) I forgot.
Sighhhh NOW what do we do?? My good, and all knowing friend Ian, suggested we leave a key somewhere 'just in case'. I meant to, I really did. I was going to hide one. I, like Den, forgot. Do we turn around and go back 150 miles and start over? What do we do? It has to be dealt with. We'd have had rats and wildebeests and all kinds of critters upon our return. AHA! I'll call my good friends Clair and Mary and mail them a key and ask them to take care of it! I rang, they agreed and all was well in the world. I'd wait until Monday and overnight a key to them. Yes, it would cost me, but I'd be avoiding wildebeests after all!

This is where it pays to have nefarious friends. Clair was raised in New York. He be a city boy. We'd gone another 30 miles or so down the road when my cell phone rang. It was Mary. "The trash is out" she said! Imagine my surprise. "Oh? Do tell!" I replied. Seems Clair, with his apparently less than savory upbringing broke into my house and took out my trash. He rang a few minutes later to tell me it wasn't breaking and entering, it was burglary. I'm guessing one carries less jail time than the other and it might scare me a little bit that he knows that! He also informed me that he'd locked the house back up. Wow, I didn't know burglars did that!!!

All is well in our little palace in Buttonwood Bay now. The rats, bugs, alligators, and wildebeests will have to find nourishment elsewhere. I'm reminded of a song that the band used to play back in my barmaid days. "I've got friends in low places" Thank God I do! Clair, if you're reading this, you know I love you! So very many cookies will be coming your way in the fall!!


Silverback said...

Make sure you bake a large one and pop a file into it. I think that is still the thing to do when sending food to felons !

(hope he took his shoes off)

Safe trip home guys.


Anonymous said...

actually... I had nothing to do with the removal of "swargage" (cross between swag and garbage) - that was my better half - I only provided the entry - and since we left the swargage on the property we probsbly didn't do anything too bad.

AND it was a very "savory" upbringing - I attended one of the finest boys preparatory schoolsin Manhattan - of course there was other 'schooling' later in life that has had practical experience!!

I really couldn't stand the thought of leaving the garbage in the house any longer than necessary - nor did I want you to worry about stopping, having a key mad and then overnighting it to us - too much bother (and expense) if I could do anything about it.

AND it is sad to see friends leaving - but we want a few more weeks of sun and golf here in Florida

Daphne said...

Very educational, this blog. I've never heard of saran wrap and never had to close a place up in a hot climate. I hope to visit Florida someday and see the wildebeests. I hope you have a safe journey back to Michigan, too.

Debby said...

Clair, swargage, you make me laugh!!! Thank you a ton!!

Daphne, Saran Wrap is a name brand of cling film. Sticks real well to porcelain!