Thursday, May 6, 2010


Yes, Asshats.

Those are people that piss me off. The number seems to be many tonight.

You drive in the passing lane doing 40. Are you freaking kidding me? The speed limit is 55, there are 3 lanes, and YOU have to get your ass in front of me and go 40? I want to nudge you with my one ton doolie and see if you speed up any.

We're buying a new home. We close on Wednesday. We can close earlier if the papers from the sellers arrive early. They mailed them today. Everyone knows they'd overnight them right? We can close on our beautiful new home tomorrow? Oh hell no! Asshats that they are, sent the papers registered mail. REGISTERED MAIL...NOT OVERNIGHT MAIL. We'll be lucky to even get them by Wednesday now.

My neighbors, scum personified mind you, have a front door without the plunger thingy that lets it close gently. So, they go out the door and SLAM! EVERY FREAKING TIME! OMG would you NOT hold it and let it shut gently? MUST you let it slam so it jars the teeth in my head and sets my nerves on end? Asshats.

The sign at WalMart says 20 items or less. CAN'T YOU FREAKING COUNT???? Do you think it means 20 items for everyone BUT you and that it's OK for you to have 50? NO IT ISN'T!

Bad grammar. Oh yes, that really gets my goat. Educated people that use words incorrectly. They're stupid! No, there not stupid, or their not stupid....they're stupid! I don't really care how that affects you...I sure the hell know it didn't effect you! "A lot" is two words people!!!! I'm sure you saw something certainly shouldn't have seen it. "I seen the movie" is NOT the way to make yourself sound intelligent.

When you pick your nose in your car while sitting at a stop light? PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU!

When I'm having a nice meal out and your little angel is running all over the restaurant screaming, I don't think he's cute. I wish to thrust my foot out and trip him and see if he bleeds.

Wal-Mart greeters. All asshats. I despise the position. It rankles me that someone is getting paid to stand in front of the door and welcome me to the store. I'm there for milk and eggs...I don't need welcoming. I need my groceries to be a bit cheaper which they could be IF WE WEREN'T PAYING ASSHATS TO SAY 'WELCOME TO WAL-MART'!

The fast food jockey that asks me 'Do you want fries with that?' NO, if I wanted fries I'd have ordered them. Do you think I forgot you sell fries and since you've asked I shall have an epiphany right there in the drive through lane? OMG you have fries here? Why yes! I'd love some fries. Yes, I know your boss makes you do that. Grow a set, tell them they're asshats and people don't like being asked if they want fries!!!

The list goes on. I must pace myself.


1 comment:

Daphne said...

Ahhhhh glorious. That made me feel MUCH better!