Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I hate shopping

I really do.

I've never understood women shopping on purpose. Because they liked it. I find it almost torture most times. Today was no different. I needed a few things. I made a list. I fortified myself with 3 hours of Mah Jongg first. Did it help? No.

What was on my list? Crap really, but crap I want.
1. A lamp for the table in the lanai. It's dark out there after about 6PM and I eat out there now. I don't like having the big ceiling lights's just not nice. I want a small lamp to sit on the table and give me light so I can see what I'm eating, but not so bright people from outside can read my book with me.
2. Something shelf like, or crate like, or drawer like that my magnifying mirror can sit on in the bathroom. The vanity is so low I can't see myself in the mirror. I need it to put my lotion on, but I have to kneel on the floor to see in the mirror. I'm too old for that shit.
3. A lamp for behind my chair in the living room so I can see to read.
4. a heart rate monitor.
5. A pair of spandex exercise pants. Thing jiggle that I don't want to jiggle.
6. An iced tea spoon. I like to eat with them. I like the long handle.
7. A tray to carry food from the kitchen out to the lanai.

Did I have success? Hmmmmm let's see.
A lamp for the table in the lanai. I looked at K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Bed Bath & Beyond, and Bealls. No luck. I don't want to spend a fortune, I just want to see my freaking milk and cookies at night! I guess I'll stick to candles for now.

A shelf or crate or whatever. I walked my ass off...looked everywhere. Found nothing. Guess I'll keep kneeling.

Spandex? Nope, couldn't find it and wasn't about to ask! I can just see that scene. "Oh excuse me, do you have spandex exercise pants?" Lady turns to answer me and falls over laughing, gasping for air and slapping her knee. No, I'll make do with what I have and hope the reverberation doesn't hurt something higher up.

Found a lamp and a heart rate monitor. Whoopee. Two things off my whole list.

I'll eat with the one iced tea spoon I have and I'm going to use a half sheet pan with a tea towel for a tray. Sorted.

God I hate shopping.


Luanne said...

I can see why you were hesitant to ask for the spandex at walmart especially after you recieved the verbal beating from the snotty check out clerk when you were buying the wine. I wouldn't chance it either. Repeat after me..."I'm looking for spandex for my daughters birthday." Of course if you are at walmart and get that snotty lady she'll probably say.."don't you mean your great grandaughter. (She's such a bitch isn't she?)

As much as I like to shop, I hate to do it when I need something because then I can never find it. I prefer to use a "shopping pimp". I used to have a friend that would do my shopping for me. All I had to do was give her a list and a "don't spend more than this" price limit and she found my stuff and usually on sale. It was great.

I just realized I said I used to have a friend, she's still my very good friend, but unfortunately for me she got a real job and is no longer available to shop at my beck and call. sigh!

Katherine said...

Er.. I like shopping. But sometimes I don't get what I want. Those things you need don't SOUND too much of an ask. I could get them for you here, but then you'd have to pay postage. Which would be a bit silly really. Wouldn't it?
Oh dear, I think I'm getting a bit silly from all this sitting around waiting for my ankle to go down.

Please excuse me.

Milo said...

Oh dear, it didn't sound successful. I'm not that keen on shopping either.

Daphne said...

I don't know why everyone thinks that women like shopping. I hate it too.