Deep thoughts

"Tonight I feel like an old violin.
Soon to be put away;
And never played again."
J.P.

Hot flashes

Suck.

That's all I have to say about that.

You can take the girl out of the trailer...

We're camping.

For those of you that don't know me, or know what our rig is like, let me fill you in. We have a pretty new 35 foot 5th wheel with 3 sliders. It's awesome! I found a picture from the day we got it a few years ago. See below. So, right now, I'm sitting in my recliner with my feet up typing this blog. Ya...it sucks to be me.



Earlier tonight, we'd arrived back at our meager abode after a day of work. Our campground is fabulous. It's got a lovely swimming pool and jacuzzi. The swimming pool has a sculpture of 4 dolphins with water shooting out of their mouths. You can swim through their spit. How cool is that? We've got full hook up here. Water, 50 amp electric, sewer, cable TV, Wi-Fi...the whole shebang.

As I said we worked today and then drove back here. I thought a lovely pre-dinner snack of a wholegrain french baguette with fresh, creamy butter, assorted cheeses, chilled to perfection white wine, and some cold, crisp, grapes would be lovely. How sophisticated right?

So, I didn't have any wine glasses here, in fact, we planned this trip in such a hurry, I failed to notice we didn't have ANY glasses on board. Classy chick that I am, I didn't slug the wine out of the bottle. Oh no no no.

I drank my wine out of a Tupperware 2 cup measuring cup. Finished the whole bottle too by golly!

I had my cheese on a Styrofoam plate.

I had no bread knife so I just tore hunks off the loaf.

Cheese? Slap it on the foam plate next to the bread and call it good.

Napkins? Nah, that's what God made a tongue for.

You can take the girl out of the trailer...but ya just can't take the trailer out of the girl!

Life is so freakin good right now!

:-)

Junk mail

It always amazes me to hear on the news that someone was taken in an email scam. I read the things and think how could anyone ever think it's a legitimate offer? How can you think you've won something you didn't enter? They do. Every day.

Let's ponder my junk mail folder shall we?

I have my email set to exclusive. If you're not on my email list, I don't get your mail, it goes into junk mail. I have to look through the junk mail folder as sometimes people on my list end up in there. With me so far?

Now daily, I get mail offering me extra inches. I'm not sure what I'd do with extra inches, I've got all the inches I need I assure you. I get the 'earn your diploma' emails, and the 'lose weight the Oprah way' emails. No thanks, I'll do both my own way.

This afternoon's fare includes the following 19 emails:

Oprah promises I can fit into my skinny jeans in 2 weeks. Um, not unless she's got a sharp knife and a lot of suction hose. I can participate in a free acai weight loss trail. Free is spelled fr33, and weight is spelled we1ght. You know it's legitimate when they use funny spellings on words!

I can of course make more money with a college degree from Topschools.com. Oh yes, I think I shall. Oh, oh, oh, no....Ebay needs eWorkers ASAP...I think I'll do that instead! I'm sure I'll make a fortune and I bet they won't want any money up front!

I can clear up my skin with Neutrogena skinID, get a stimulus package to reduce the debt I owe(thank God, I've been trying to do that on my own with no luck), and it's pet appreciation month so I get free pictures! Wooooooooohoooooooo!

My luck must be changing because I've apparently won a Dell computer. Hmmmm funny, I don't remember entering anything to win one, but I guess I did! I'll just enter my personal information so they can send it to me!

Mr. Abdul Isa has informed me that some American has died with no will. Gasp? Really??? He says: "my proposal is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand in as the next of kin to Mr. Charles Balassi so that the fruits of his labor will not get into the hands of the government. This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address, Country of Origin, Residence, Age and Phone Number, and Your Sex." Oh you bet doll face, it's all on the way! I'm going to be rich!!!!! It's 100% risk free, old Abdul assured me!

I'm getting 2 nights free in Ft. Lauderdale, and my Google G2 phone has finally arrived! I don't know WTF a Google G2 phone is, but I'm sure I can't live without it as soon as I send my shipping fee in!! Just in time too as Verizon is offering me really great calling plans!

Eharmony wants to help me find singles like me. Hmmmm I've been married 31 years...I better check into that one. Oh no, forget that, my sex life is sorted as Sexygirl22 wants to get to know me better. I'm adding her to my Facebook account right now!

Then there's one from Don. I'm not sure what exactly he wanted...I'll let you know as soon as I click on the link and enter all my personal information.

Oh crap...I need to run now as if I don't enter my name, user name, password, birth date, social security number, and address, after clicking on the enclosed link, they're going to close my Hotmail account!

They do indeed walk among us.

I want to laugh

Those of you that know me, know I'm predominately a happy person. I can't say I've ever been depressed, I don't worry about things. Sure, there are problems in my life, I just don't worry about them as it doesn't do any good. Yes, they pop into my mind, but I'm one of the lucky few that can just say 'oh well, nothing I can do' and move on to other things. There are things I'd like, but I look at those as dreams and not "oh I don't have them's".

I don't have any money. I'd like some. I'm working, Den is working, there is nothing else I can do to get any money, so no use worrying about it.

I'd like to sell my house and live in FL full time. Economy sucks, can't sell my house here in MI. Have to do that before we can buy a bigger place in FL. It's fun to dream of that day.

I'd like Den and I neither one to have to work. That'll happen. It'll be awesome when it does.

I am happy.

I was working today. A grueling 9.5 hour day if you must know. Really kicked my ass. I was tired when I went in and it never got better.

A table of people I know came in. There were 8 of them. They stayed 2 hours or more. They laughed and laughed and laughed. They laughed so hard other people were smiling...it's contagious you know. That's when I realized I've not had a good belly laugh in a long time. I miss that. I do that a lot in FL.

My friends from FL aren't here to make me laugh. I'll just have to do it on my own.

I'm thinking "The Birdcage" might do the trick. It's one of my favorite movies of all times. Ian mentioned it in his blog this morning and even just the mention of it made me laugh.

Yes, I think that's the ticket.

:-)

Fluffy duckies

I was at the gym today rocking the elliptical. All the cardio machines face the big picture windows that face the road. I was moving as fast as my fat little legs would go and gazing out the window when I saw the duckies.

There was a mama duck and 10 babies. The gym is on a very busy 4 lane road. Mama was attempting to gather her brood together and I just knew she was going to try to cross the road as the lake is on the other side. I looked back and called to Den to come see as he was in between sets. The whole gym came forward and we all watched. I wasn't going to get off the elliptical as I was going strong and still had 10 minutes left. I was so hoping someone that was standing in there watching would run out and stop traffic. They'd have had to do it barefoot though as you couldn't wear your gym shoes outside. We were all barely breathing and watching...she'd gather them and charge for the road then a car would whiz past and she'd back up a bit. She must've made at least 5 tries when the angel stopped. A girl that had left the tanning salon next door threw her car in park and got out. She walked right out into the middle of the first 2 lanes of traffic with her arms up in the air. The universal symbol for 'STOP! DUCKIES!' you know? After they cleared the first of those 2 lanes she moved into the opposing 2 lanes of oncoming traffic and stopped them too. Mama and all 10 babies crossed safely and a cheer erupted from the gym. There was much clapping and happiness.

The angel got back in her car and drove away. I finished my 10 minutes on the elliptical. Mama and babies lived another day!

Hurrah!

:-)

Acitvate this!

Those of you that know me, know there are a few things that get my goat. I tend to get pissed off at them RIGHTNOW! I have no patience for a lot of things. Imagine that!

So, I got my new Dressbarn credit card in the mail and it needs to be activated. Did I want a Dressbarn credit card? No, but they gave me 20% off my dress I bought, plus a 20% coupon off the next thing I buy. So, I shall use my 20% off coupon the next time I need clothes, and then probably cancel the account. I'm not the credit card company's dream girl. I pay every credit bill when it's due. Never carry a balance, so they get no interest off me. I only apply for these 'extra' cards if they make it worth my while. That reminds me, I need to activate the Babies R Us card too! Anyway, as usual, I digress.

I call the toll free number to activate my card. Push this button, hit that star, enter this number, give us your firstborn son, you know the drill. Get to the part where it wants me to enter the account number and of course it won't take it. Trick number one, get the customer on the phone and try to sell them something else. So, I'm immediately pissed. Do I want to spend time talking to some asshole when I've already pushed this and pressed that? Absolutely not. So, I'm talking to the asshole of course. He asks me everything I've already punched in. Then of course it all has to be verified, and while that process is taking place, do I want to buy credit card protection. I said NO! Do I want to hear about it? I said NO! So, said asshole starts telling me about it. That was it, twig snapped, last straw broke. I said 'Excuse me Pasquale, I said I didn't want to hear about it.' He keeps talking. I start pressing buttons on the phone and he says 'hello?'. I said 'I told you I didn't want to hear about it.' He says 'oh aren't you interested in credit card protection?' I said 'whether I am, or I am not, is of no consequence to you as 'I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT'. Does he say, OK, then? Oh no. Mr. I never went to school and this is the best job I'll ever have keeps talking!!! So, I started singing 'Sherry'! Those of you that know me, know I can't sing. I know the words to Sherry, and I sang them at the top of my lungs.

Funny, my card seemed to have been activated at that precise moment.

So, while he kept talking, I kept singing and then I hung up on him.

I feel better. I'm warmed up. I'm off to call Babies R Us and activate that card now!