A wink and a smile

This was my Note From The Universe this morning.

"How about, Debby, next time you go to work, the mall, or a labyrinth, you glide, slide, and twirl a bit? Wink, smile, and wave? Dip, bend, and high-five? Strut, saunter, and beam?

Just a bit?

Teeny, tiny?
The Universe

Or, you could just walk, Debby. "

I know that I'm not your average Joe. I'm OK with that. If I'm in the store, and they just happen to be playing a song I like, I WILL sing along. I tend to break into dance now and then too.

Sometimes you have to just do what makes you happy. Be true to yourself. If people snicker or stare, that's their problem.

I am who I am and I think that's just the way it should be!

If I love you, I love you for exactly who you are. I love all your imperfections and quirks. That's exactly how it should be. If I can't love you just the way you are, I have to move on. I'm not here to change anyone. Life is too short for that! Live and let live. I will say that the people I love make my life so full and rich. I'm smiling right now thinking of all my friends.

I love you all.

Today I intend to dance (not march, sorry HDT I will still always love you) to that beat of a different drummer. If I find someone staring, I'll give them a little wink and maybe a twirl. I could 'just walk', but that is not who I am.

Peace be the journey my friends....

Peace be the journey

:-)

A pile of trash

Most of you know I live in a 55+ community. While I'm on the negative side of 55, many, many of the residents here are well into the plus side. As you might imagine, death is not an uncommon occurrence here.

It was the death of one of our residents last week that has me pondering life in general this afternoon. Her name was Ann. I didn't know her. I've looked at the last 3 picture books that the park has done and she's not in any of them. I don't know if that's because she was very old and couldn't get down to get her picture taken, or if she just didn't have any friends in the park so didn't care.

That's about as far as my pondering would have gone about Ann, if it weren't for a pile of trash. There was a huge mountain of trash out front of her house on Monday. That made me a bit sad. I'm sure Ann thought the things in those bags were treasures. Now, they're trash. Just like that. I think of all the things here in my home that are treasures to me. Bring me joy to look at. Have a story that touches my heart. The day after I die will it all be out at the curb? Probably. That makes me sad too.

I have a horseradish jar full of pennies. Doesn't everyone? Now, when I die, the kids will look at that and wonder what the hell? They'll take the pennies and spend them and toss the jar. They won't know that I've had that jar since May 22, 1982. They won't know that my Mom put every penny in that jar and kept it in the little night stand she had next to the kitchen table. I don't know why. I know that she touched every single one of those pennies though. I know she washed out that horseradish jar to put them in. I've got that jar sitting on my knick knack shelf. I see it every time I dust and I think of my Mom. I've thought of having the pennies melted down and made into something, but somehow, they're just so special in that jar. It makes me smile to look at it. I'll keep it until I die.

I'm sorry, I digress. As usual.

Den is working for the park on the maintenance staff now. He was at work last week when one of the guys brought in this accordion file they found in a pile of trash.



They knew he was a chef and they knew I love to cook, so they gave it to Den to bring home. You see, it was full of recipes.

We started going through it today. Some hand written, some cut out of magazines, some printed out on the computer. We spent hours going through them and only got through the first 2 compartments. I'm convinced they're Ann's. I put some aside that look so wonderful I just have to try. The ones I didn't like, I just couldn't bring myself to throw away. I put them back in their respective slots in the file. For what? I don't know. I just know that she found them special enough to clip and save and I just can't throw them away.

There is writing on a lot of them. A random word 'good', 'this was great', etc. That shows me she actually tried a lot of these. Awesome. One actually made me laugh. It was a typed recipe from a friend I assume. The friend had written 'too spicy, I'd cut out the green chili's'. Ann had made X's all through that line and in her own hand wrote 'She's crazy!'. Freakin awesome! Not only did someone give her that recipe, she tried it. You bet your ass I'll be fixing it. With the chili's of course!

I wish I'd known Ann. I think we'd have gotten along well. I'd like to find a friend of hers. Talk to them, find out about her. A story behind these recipes. I'm looking forward to spending more time with this file.

I hope when I die, and this file is sitting out by the road in the trash pile, that someone like me picks it up. Learns a little bit about me. Wishes they'd known me better....

Peace be the journey

:-)

Happiness

It's found in the strangest places!

John Denver used to sing 'Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy'. Well, it always has me. Until that nasty bitch menopause hit. My joy was gone.

I took down all the drapes in my living room yesterday. They stretched 16 foot across and 10 foot from top to bottom. They were heavy, beige, and drab. There were 6 panels of dirty looking sheers behind them. All gone now. I can't stop smiling looking at that bank of 6 windows now! I really haven't stopped smiling. The windows are FILTHY. I haven't had the blinds open all summer long to keep the heat out. I don't even care that they're filthy!

I'm loving this feeling. It's joy. I've missed it so much. I've actually got a tear.

I'm looking forward to washing the windows to a sparkle.

Even if this joy is fleeting, it's here now. It hasn't been here for a long, long time.

Bring on some more!

Peace be the journey

:-)

My own person

So, sitting here drinking coffee in the quiet morning, thoughts flit randomly through my grey matter. Scary eh?

I will be the first one to tell you I pretty much do what I want with no regard to your feelings on my actions. Oh, I don't want to give the impression that I'm mean, rude, or obnoxious. I mean I befriend who I want, I express my opinions openly for the most part, I don't follow the crowd for the sake of following the crowd. I will tell you I don't care what people think about me.

I just now, in one brief flit of a thought through my mind, have proved myself wrong.

You see, today, I feel like wearing neon pink. I wish I had a sparkly neon pink body suit and a diaphanous pale pink (also sparkly of course) ballerina skirt. Not a tutu, I'm not a tutu kind of girl. I would complete the ensemble with pale pink tennis shoes, you got it sparkly(Yes, my bone spurs even invade my dream outfit).

I would wear my diamond tiara with pink feathers. Yes, I do have one.

I may or may not carry my wand. Yes, I do have one. It has a silver star and long, silver, sparkly streamers hanging from the star. My most excellent friend Mary K. gave me both. I think she knows the inner me better than most.

I toyed with the idea of strapping on wings, diaphanous of course, but that seemed a bit OTT.

Will I deck myself out in this fashion? No. Why not? Because people would think I was nuts. I guess I do care what people think. That really came as a shock to me.

Today at work I'll be wearing my green capris and my white linen shirt.

On the inside? I'm neon pink and sparkly though!

Maybe I'll carry my tiara in my bag.

Peace be the journey.

:-)

Baby souls

I get daily emails from TUT. I highly recommend them.

You never know what the universe will say to me. Some days it's drivel, and some days it's so deep it takes pondering.

I got this one last week and it just resonated with me.


Baby souls follow.

Young souls lead.

But old souls, Debby, are happy to dance alone.

Debby, your wisdom is showing.

Not that I'm spying on you,
The Universe

When I was young, I didn't want to rock the boat. I wanted to go with the crowd. Don't want to stick out...you know??? That was a good stage in my life.

As I got a bit older, college and when my kids were young, I was the leader. I worked on raising my kids, running my home, finding my beliefs and sticking up for them. I wanted people in my group. If I believed in something, I sought out other believers. If I had a cause, I wanted to share it. That was a good stage in my life.

Now that I'm older, and no, I'm not saying I'm older than dirt, over the hill, or any other cliche drivel, I'm merely saying I'm older. Now that I'm older, I am comfortable in my skin.

I'm content to believe strongly in something without the need to seek out other believers. I don't care if you believe what I do. I don't feel the need to stand up for my beliefs or values. I just have them. I don't care if yours don't agree with mine.

If you ask me how I feel about something, where I stand, I will tell you. Without worrying if that's what you feel or think.

I'm past the age of game playing. If that's your bag, you'll have to play without me. I'm fine with that. If I have to cut you loose, I just do. Life is too short to put up with shit.

Negativity? I used to try to cheer you up, change you. Now, it's easier to avoid you. Sorry, you just don't fit in my world and I don't feel the need to change my world to accommodate you. I like to be happy and that's what I wish to surround myself with.

Hypocrite? Puhleez. I'm so over you.

When menopause first hit, and these changes started happening, I didn't like it much. It's getting better. I'm happy with who I am. A few friends say they want the old Debby back. Well, the old Debby gave in a lot. She pushed down her feelings to give way to yours. She wasn't real. Do you really want a fake me? I know I don't.

I'm happy with who I am.

This is a good stage of my life.

Peace be the journey

:-)

I Bin thinkin....

Yes, it's really me. I intend to wax religious. If this offends. Quit reading right now.

There is an awful lot of celebrating going on. How do I feel about it?

Sad.

Oh, yes, I know Bin was a bad Laden. A very bad Bin indeed.

Am I sorry he's dead? No.

Am I glad it was 'us' who got him? Yes.

Here's where it all starts to go south for me. I'm sickened at the joyful attitudes and out and out glee I see on display. By all means go in there, get the bad guy, but do we really need to dance on his grave?

I didn't see an option other than killing him. I really didn't. I just think the joyful celebration is out of place. He was still a man. A human. Albeit a bad one.

Am I proud to be an American? You bet your ass I am. I always have been. I watched the American flag gently sway in the breeze at the space center the other day and it brought a tear to my eye. I am fiercely proud of my country. I have a problem with all the people waving a flag today. Saying they're proud to be an American today. Screw that. They should be proud every day. Not just today. Not just today because the bad guy is dead. Will they be waving that flag next week? Probably not. Will their FaceBook picture be a flag next week? Nope. It irks me to no end to see people do things for show.

My daughter in law & a good friend shared scripture that sums up my feelings exactly.

"I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live." Ezekiel 33:11

We could see 'the wicked' wasn't going to turn from his evil...so death it must be. I need not take pleasure in it though. I need not celebrate it.

Proverbs 24:17 ~ "Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice."

There ya go. My feelings in a nutshell. Someone always says it better than me.

May God have mercy on his soul.

It's going to need it.

:-)

Above it all

We went to Myakka State park today with friends.

It was a lovely, sunny day. We began on a large air boat and saw some big gators. I wanted to feed the screaming kid on board to said gators, but I was good and only thought about it.

We left the boat and headed over to the canopy walkway. This was really lovely. The sun was out and even though we walked beneath the trees, there was dappled sunshine here and there. Quiet and lush...just lovely. We got to the rope bridge and Den decided to stay on the ground. The bridge swings as you walk and you're not very far up, but it was still fun. At the end of the bridge is where the steps begin to take you up to the lookout at the top. The rest of the gang had done it before and headed down as I headed up.





I really thought I was higher up than this. 75 feet doesn't seem high, but it sure looked and felt high. It was just awesome up there.




I had the whole top to myself for quite a while. I was able to just look around and enjoy the silence and the sun. I love the feeling of sun on my face. It warms me from the outside in. It's a serene, almost religious thing for me. Kind of like feeling God's warmth in a physical sense. I do love it.

I was looking around and thinking. Looking down at the wild, really untamed land, I began to think of the early inhabitants of this area. I thought to myself that I was seeing things they couldn't see during their time on this earth. I could see over the tops of the trees. I could see there was a lake a way further. They couldn't. It was theirs to still discover. You'll probably even have to enlarge this picture to discover it for yourself! It's there though.




I turned around and could see really a long way as Florida is very flat. I was higher than they ever could have been. I'm pretty sure they didn't build a 75 foot tower to see what was down the road.

So, taking that thinking further, I could, and can, see things they couldn't, but is that really a good thing? They didn't know if there was water through the next stand of trees, but is knowing that really a benefit? They didn't know anything about aids, or cancer, obesity, or many other things we know about now. Does that really benefit us?

I suppose it does. We know that yes, we became obese, but we also know how to fix it. We know that aids exists, and we know how to prevent it. We can't cure it, but we can prevent it. Cancer is a bit trickier. We know about it, there are certain preventative measures sure, but we can't totally prevent it and we can't cure it.

Sometimes I just wonder if all the modern conveniences are a help or a hindrance.

In the end, I don't want to give any of them up. I'm glad I know that alligators will eat you and not have me be the one that found that out first hand. That was thiers to discover.

I wonder what we'll discover next? What is ours to discover?

It's just so easy to let your mind wander way up above the trees. No sounds except the sound of the wind and the gentle call of the birds.

It's easy to let your mind wander when the sun is warming you.

I think I need to do it more often.

I have peace within me.

:-)

Pixie ponders cookies

A good thing to ponder in my book.

Newtons to be exact. I despise figs. All those gritty little seeds. Nabisco finally got a clue and invented raspberry Newtons. Yum.

Problem. Oh hell yes, there's always a problem. They've made this awesome opening in their cookie package. The top peels back to expose the lovely little cakey goodness beneath. It reseals too. Brill.

So? What's wrong with it? Well, look here.


The only way to get the first few cookies out is to reach into the tightly packed row and scrunch one out. It gets mangled. Design flaw? Oh yes I do believe! Same thing with the Oreo's.

This package has pissed me off since it's invention. Someone needs to go back to the drawing board. They've spent the time, the effort, the money to invent this and I still need to use scissors and Tupperware!

:-)

Do you know where your Teflon tape is?

This is only for the women. You men, go find something else to do. Yes, even you! I'll wait while you leave the room.

OK girls, NOW, do you know where your Teflon tape is? Do you know WHAT Teflon tape is?

You should.

You should know the difference between a Phillips and a flat head screw and driver.

You should know what a grip wrench is.

You should have your own little stash of washers, screws, nails, and dare I say it? A tool box.

Yes, I know, you have a man. What happens if he's gone and you need something done? OK, so you'll wait until he gets home. What happens if he's off hunting for a week with the guys and your shower head springs a leak? What if the toilet handle breaks? What if the toilet flapper thing quits flapping? What if the doorknob falls off (and if a certain man is still in the room and reading this...shut it. Anyone could have a brain fart about putting a knob on the opposite way!)?

There are a lot of 'what ifs' in life, and with a little bit of knowledge, a bit of preparation, and some practice, you could be prepared.

I've got a man that just happens to not be handy. Oh, he can make a quiche that melts in your mouth, but give him a tool, and he's dangerous. My father was the same way. I learned from necessity and I've always been glad. It's come in handy so many times.

We're trying to fix this house up to move. Sold the washer and dryer and brought the old piece of shit set in from the garage. The plug was wrong for the dryer. Did we have to call a dryer guy? No, I wired in the correct plug. One of the screw holes seemed stripped. Did we call the dryer guy now? No, we (OK I) turned the air blue with curse words...put my freaking glasses on, took a closer look, found the problem and fixed it. Hubby's hands are too big to get the clampy thing on the dryer vent hose to tighten down over the little sticky outey thing at the back of the dryer it needs to clamp to. Ya, I didn't say you had to know the terminology, just know how to fix shit! So, again, air blue, right tools, no dryer guy, and presto, we have a dryer again.

We have hose type shower heads. I don't want to leave them here. Today, I removed the one from the shower we're using in the apartment. I retrieved the regular shower head that I've kept since the shower was installed (another handy tip, save stuff!), and popped it on. Squirted water all over the F'ing place. Now, I'm wet, I'm pissed. Did I call a plumber? No. I took the shower head off, looked at it, and went 'doh, forgot the Teflon tape. Got that, taped the threads, popped the shower head back on and tightened it. Water shot all over the F'ing place. Well shit. Now what? Took the shower head off again, pondered a bit more (which is what I'm best at) and thought hmmmmmm 'You took out the water restrictor (shhhh don't tell the water police). Perhaps if you put a washer in there, it will take up the gap the water restrictor filled before and you could have a tight seal'. So I did. I put the shower head back on, used my Robo Grip to tighten it down. No F'ing water spraying anywhere it shouldn't! I went and did the other shower. Got it on the first try. Perseverance and the right tools.

These are Robo Grips. I highly recommend them.



This is Teflon tape. It costs 79 cents. Spring for a roll. It'll last a lifetime.



While you're picking up the Teflon tape, get some electrical tape, some duct tape(I have hot pink), some WD40, and a good, multi purpose screw driver. I like Stanley. The kind that stores the bits in the end. Everyone should have a bunch of washers in different sizes. Screws are a necessity. I prefer the sharp ones (self tapping) that go into stuff easier. I have all different sizes. I prefer Phillips. I'm in the minority it seems. You need a hammer of course...if you can't fix something, you can beat the shit out of it with your hammer.

Start small. Fix something. Build from there. When you're ready, ask me about my Makita!



:-)

Garage sales

Yep, that's right, I'm pondering garage sales.

I've had 2 this summer. They're a lot of hard work for not a lot of profit. You watch things you paid a lot of money for sell for pennies to the dollar. Stuff...it's just stuff you don't want anymore.

I found it's where you separate the stuff from the treasures.

We're moving as I'm sure you know. We've been in this house for 23 years. I won't miss the house.

We've been in this town for 32 years. I won't miss this town.

I sold a lot of stuff today. I won't miss any of it.

I almost did. I almost made a mistake but thanks to some rude dipshit, I didn't.

I have a porch swing. It's got a painted black, metal frame. Kind of rusty around the springs. The seat is made of 1X2's painted brick red. The paint is chipped off in places, peeling in others, and just plain gone on some spots. Those 1X2's are fastened to the painted black metal frame with 2 inch machine screws. The screws stick way below the boards...will tear your skin if it comes in contact with them.

I put $25 on this swing.

I like it, it's comfy, I swing in it often. It just won't 'go' in Florida. It won't fit in with the decor.

A man. Oh, no, I have to elaborate. A fat, greasy haired, scraggly bearded, dirty man, with a big belly stretching his dirty tee shirt, hanging over the top of his dirty jeans, man, is the one that changed my mind.

I was sitting on the swing and he came up and first pissed me off by calling me 'Little Missy'. He said, and I do quote here, "I'm going to do you a favor and give you $5 for this piece of shit. Nobody else is going to buy it."

Now, I know I'm out to make money, but my ass was instantly chapped. I couldn't help it and instead of being polite, out of my mouth popped 'Don't do me any favors pardner.' He told me I'd be sorry, he told me I'd be begging someone to buy it. He left.

I re-evaluated my $25 price tag on the swing and I changed it. To $35.

I sat there and swang, and was very happy with my decision. I realized that I didn't really want to sell my swing. I changed the price to $45. I swang some more. I was so content swinging. I thought about the beginnings of this ugly swing.

Back in the day, and we're talking early 1970's, my mom bought a swing. It was a shiny framed swing with a bright yellow, mesh type seat. It sat under the 3 trunked maple in the front yard on Houghton Lake. I loved it. I sat in it and read. I met a man and we'd sit there at night, on that swing, and talk for hours. My mom would sit on that swing with me. My dad would sit on that swing with me. Eventually my children sat on that swing with me. The old yellow mesh seat finally gave way. It just fell apart and the old swing frame went into the garage.

Several years later my Dad pulled into my driveway with that swing hanging out of the trunk of his car. My Dad was not a handy man. He stripped the paint on the frame and painted it shiny black. He sawed 1X2's and painted them carefully with brick red paint. He drilled holes and screwed those boards onto that frame. He did it all for me as he knew I always loved that swing. He was so proud of himself when he brought that over. I've sat on it at my home for years. My Dad would sit on it right here on my porch before he died.

I sit in that swing and all the good memories of my Dad just flit in and out of my mind.

I almost screwed up and sold that swing. It is going to go perfectly in my home in Florida.

If any of you know who that asshat was that told me nobody would buy my swing....

Tell him he was right. It's not for sale. You can't sell memories.

:-)

Reading, a trip down memory lane

Yes, this morning I'm pondering reading.

I've always been an avid reader. Always.

When I was in grade school, Catholic, in case you didn't know, I got in trouble for my reading.

You hear all the time how reading is the foundation for all other studies. Even helps you in math supposedly. Perhaps I should have read more, as I pretty much suck in math.

Anyway, back to St. Roberts and the nuns...oh we weren't talking about nuns? Crap.

I remember being in the 3rd grade, so 7 years old, and having the nun send a note home to my mom. 'Debra reads too much'. WTF??? Apparently they thought I was one sided. Because I voraciously read all the books I liked, 'Bobbsey Twins' at that time, I was not a rounded person. I will admit, I read nothing but mystery...

Looking back, I understand what they were getting at. I read all the time, and I only read one type of book. The other kids would run about on the playground, and I would read. Perhaps that's how I ended up rounded in figure after all.

But still....reading is a joy for me. A pleasure. A guilty indulgence. Leave it to the nuns to make something wonderful feel guilty!

I , now, really love to read all things. I have always been a mystery buff. As I said earlier, the Bobbsey Twins were my first foray into the mystery series. Trixie Belden followed and of course Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys came soon after. I read every single one of those books. I loved them. Parts of them still come back to me today in fact. Talk about impact. They were followed by Stuart Woods, James Patterson, Mary Higgins Clark, just to name a few of my more recent passions.

I love everything about reading. I love choosing a book, sitting down with it and beginning to bond. Learning the characters, loving them, hating them, gosh I just love it all.

I read mysteries. A lot of them. I never try to figure out who did it. I read and immerse myself into the story and let it lead me and take me to the conclusion. It's so much more fun for me that way. Turning that last page and thinking OMG! HE did it! Oh yes, I love surprises.

A few years ago, I decided I should broaden my horizons...ya the damn nuns were right.

OMG what an eye opener for me.

I started with Pearl S. Buck's 'The Good Earth'. Oh it moved me deeply. I was there. I was learning the culture. It pained me, it brought me joy. I read. I felt. I reveled.

One morning at coffee hour here in the park, a friend had a book she was leaving at the library. I looked at it. She said she didn't like it. I was intrigued. I took it. I was hooked from the first page. 'Water For Elephants'. Wow. Again, I was there. I cried, and yet again, I was touched. I'm smiling thinking about it.

We have a book club here in the park that a few keep trying to get me to join. My favorite librarian back in Houghton Lake is similarly on my case to attend their book club. That's not my bag. To me, that would make reading a chore not a pleasure. I want to read. I want to have deep thoughts about what I read. I don't want to share that with others. I want to get out of a book what I want to, not what they think I should have.

I'm sitting here with my eyes closed thinking of some of my favorite reads.

*Palindrome" by Stuart Woods
*"Memoirs of a Geisha'
*The 'Twilight' series by Stephanie Meyers (OMG YES I know they were written for teenage girls, but I was hooked. Totally and completely!)
*Harry Potter series, yep I waited in line at midnight for the last one.
*"Moonraker's Bride". I'd actually like to read that again as I was about 12 when I read it and I don't remember anything but the name. I'm guessing it had to be something special or it would not have stuck in my mind all these years!
*"Girl With a Pearl Earring"
*"Pillars of the Earth"...wow that Ken Follett!
* the 'Little House on the Prarie' series by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Oh how I loved those books. I still have the set to share with my grandchildren. I was part of that family. I remember reading and being so excited to pick up the next book. Oh just to see what 'Half Pint' was going to get up to, or where Pa was going to go. I do believe that set might have been the most memorable thing of my youth as far as reading goes. Yes, I do believe.....

Well, I'm sure the list is endless...but I love how it's evolved over the years. I love that I can lose myself in something other than mystery.

Where are those nuns today? Today they could send a note home that said 'How well she's read to reason against reading!'......ahhhh one of my true indulgences....I do so love the Bard.

If I could send a note to the nun today...it might be this.

“No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance.”

- Confucius

or this.

“He that loves a book will never want a faithful friend, a wholesome counselor, a cheerful companion, an effectual comforter. By study, by reading, by thinking, one may innocently divert and pleasantly entertain himself, as in all weathers, as in all fortunes.”

- Barrow

Or to make it simplistic, this.

“The more you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”

- Dr. Seuss


I know that very few people read this blog anymore...perhaps I should have posted this on my Weight Watcher blog...(hmmm I might just do a copy and paste after all!), but if you do read, and if you have read books that have touched your heart, made you laugh, left an imprint on you, please share.



:-)

Asshats

Yes, Asshats.

Those are people that piss me off. The number seems to be many tonight.

You drive in the passing lane doing 40. Are you freaking kidding me? The speed limit is 55, there are 3 lanes, and YOU have to get your ass in front of me and go 40? I want to nudge you with my one ton doolie and see if you speed up any.

We're buying a new home. We close on Wednesday. We can close earlier if the papers from the sellers arrive early. They mailed them today. Everyone knows they'd overnight them right? We can close on our beautiful new home tomorrow? Oh hell no! Asshats that they are, sent the papers registered mail. REGISTERED MAIL...NOT OVERNIGHT MAIL. We'll be lucky to even get them by Wednesday now.

My neighbors, scum personified mind you, have a front door without the plunger thingy that lets it close gently. So, they go out the door and SLAM! EVERY FREAKING TIME! OMG would you NOT hold it and let it shut gently? MUST you let it slam so it jars the teeth in my head and sets my nerves on end? Asshats.

The sign at WalMart says 20 items or less. CAN'T YOU FREAKING COUNT???? Do you think it means 20 items for everyone BUT you and that it's OK for you to have 50? NO IT ISN'T!

Bad grammar. Oh yes, that really gets my goat. Educated people that use words incorrectly. They're stupid! No, there not stupid, or their not stupid....they're stupid! I don't really care how that affects you...I sure the hell know it didn't effect you! "A lot" is two words people!!!! I'm sure you saw something cool....you certainly shouldn't have seen it. "I seen the movie" is NOT the way to make yourself sound intelligent.

When you pick your nose in your car while sitting at a stop light? PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU!

When I'm having a nice meal out and your little angel is running all over the restaurant screaming, I don't think he's cute. I wish to thrust my foot out and trip him and see if he bleeds.

Wal-Mart greeters. All asshats. I despise the position. It rankles me that someone is getting paid to stand in front of the door and welcome me to the store. I'm there for milk and eggs...I don't need welcoming. I need my groceries to be a bit cheaper which they could be IF WE WEREN'T PAYING ASSHATS TO SAY 'WELCOME TO WAL-MART'!

The fast food jockey that asks me 'Do you want fries with that?' NO, if I wanted fries I'd have ordered them. Do you think I forgot you sell fries and since you've asked I shall have an epiphany right there in the drive through lane? OMG you have fries here? Why yes! I'd love some fries. Yes, I know your boss makes you do that. Grow a set, tell them they're asshats and people don't like being asked if they want fries!!!

The list goes on. I must pace myself.

.

Pixie ponders bras

Yep, bras. If this makes you men squeamish, bugger off. I need to get this off my chest. Yes, pun intended.

I went shopping for bras yesterday. I have all old lady industrial models. I have a few shirts I can't wear as my bras don't compliment them. The bra puckers and you can see it through the fabric of the shirt. I want a pretty, lacy one. I want one that doesn't make me look like Madonna in concert. Hey, cut this old lady some slack. My thumbs and four other fingers can't bend without pain that will drop me to my knees. My shoulder won't move, my knees crunch, my ankles feel like there are sharp needles boring through the bone and don't even get me started on my hip problems. I can't see without my glasses and I'm going to need to start shopping for Depends soon! So, is a pretty, sexy, lacy bra too much to ask?

Apparently it is.

I was ever hopeful. I found 4 to try and took them into the dressing room with high expectations. I struggled out of my shirt which is no small task when your shoulder doesn't want to let you lift your arm more than 3 centimeters. I took the first pretty concoction out of the package and strapped that puppy on. Hmmmm are the boobs supposed to squish out the bottom? I didn't think so and made the necessary adjustments. Not much better to be truthful. On to door number 2. Oh this one was so very lovely. Padded even! Ah no, that one didn't work either. Nor did option three. Finally onto bra number 4. The Pièce de résistance. Pale pink, lacy, padded, pushy uppy to give the girls their best chance at looking good. This was when, even though I've been trying to quit swearing, words actually burst forth from my lips. Yep, all alone in the dressing room even. 'YOU HAVE FUCKING GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!' Ya, I'll put a quarter in the cuss bucket already.

I swear to all that is holy the straps were made of rubber bands. Who does this? What kind of maniacal mind wakes up one morning and thinks 'Oh I have nothing better to do today so I'm going to design a bra in a size 38C with straps made of gossamer!'? Hello? 38C? Need some support here? Need something to keep the girls from blacking my eye if I sneeze! Good Lord, with all the fiber I've been eating lately, if I farted with that on, it could set a reverberation going that could knock the people around me out cold! The girls would be in constant motion all day long. They're old...they need rest!

Otto Titzling & Hans Delving you should be ashamed of yourselves. You started all this!

I'm old and stubborn. I will find a gorgeous bra that will both contain the girls and be pretty. I'm on a mission now.

Get the hell out of my way.

:-)

Pondering pillows

Why is it so difficult to get a good pillow?

I grew up using down pillows. Two of them to be precise. They're expensive to say the least, and difficult to find just the right one. When they get flat after several months of use, I'm off on a quest to find new ones.

Last year I found a down alternative pillow that was fantastic! Even better, they only cost $16 for 2 of them at Sam's club. I brought them home and they were perfect. So good in fact, I went back to Sam's and bought 4 more sets. I took 2 to Michigan, and left 2 here. The first set lasted about 5 months or so before they got all flat. I broke out the next set for the trip back to MI in May. Oh no, they weren't quite the same. I never really had a good nights sleep. So, last night, I broke out the next set.

OMG they were horrid! Rock hard and just not acceptable at all! So much for all of them being the same! I swear, I'm like the princess and the pea. Pillows have to be perfect or I just can't sleep. I was awake every 30 minutes all night long. Would it really have been so difficult for the manafacturer to make the pillows all the same for goodness sakes???? God only knows what the other set that is still in Michigan is like!

So, today, instead of playing Mah Jongg like I wanted, I'll be out on the great pillow search..... again.

Sighhh it's not easy being a princess...but I guess someone has to do it!

Pondering pondering

Yes, I'm still pondering away here, it's just that most of my thoughts focus toward Weight Watchers, so I ponder over at puffy pixie! Today, my mind is off on another path, so here I am. These are my thoughts, and my beliefs. I know many don't follow my religious beliefs and that's fine. If my post offends you, quit reading. I'm not out to start a religious battle. This is what I believe, not what I think you have to believe. I'm not telling anyone how they should be, this is how I want to be. There, got that covered...let's begin!

It's a forked path. Left fork is Karma. Yep, I believe. If you're an A-hole to someone, something, it's going to come back and bite you in the ass. If you're a poop to one of God's special creatures (Joshua calls them window lickers which gains him no favor in some peoples eyes!), Karma is going to bite you on both cheeks. Wouldn't it just be easier to treat everyone with respect, kindness, love, and patience? Treat everyone the way we'd want to be treated our self? Wow, that is such a profound thought, someone ought to make it a rule. Golden. Avoid the teeth of Karma all the way around!

The place I work employs a few of those 'special creatures'. No, I'm not one of them, so shut it! I messed with the mind of one of them a few years ago. I know, bad Debby. I just couldn't help myself. She tends the salad bar. She's never lonely as she's got lots of people in her mind to talk to...and she does. She's always babbling away at the lettuce etc. She's more than a bit OCD also. She has to make sure all the spoons on the salad bar point the same direction. When someone fixes a salad, as soon as they've passed, she moves the spoon back to it's correct position. A few years ago, after watching her do this over and over, she went into the kitchen. I ran up to the salad bar and moved all the spoons. She came back out and was a bit agitated. She fixed all the spoons and went back into the kitchen. Ya, I did it again. She came out again, more agitated this time, fixed them again and went back in. Now for the coup de gras, I did it again. She came out, took one look at the salad bar, threw her arms in the air and let out a screech! I knew Karma was after me but good then! It got me on Sunday. I had to work all day with her. It was the day from hell.

I may be old, but I'm not stupid. From now on, I'll do my best to be nice to everyone! Especially the less fortunate and the ass holes. Keep my soul happy, and project that happiness to others around me. Yes, even the people I don't like. I've started saying a little prayer before I open the door to work now. Taking a deep breath, letting calm enter my body, mind, and soul. Some days it's 'God please give me the strength to be the person you want me to be today. Let kindness, love, and happiness flow from me to those around me." Some days it's "God, please don't let me stab anyone with my big, sharp knife today." Hey, baby steps right??

The right fork is a bit foggy. I can't come up with a name for it, but it's what I believe with my whole heart. See, I take time to thank God for the little things that mean so much to me every day. I love sun, warm, blue skies, lovely water, pretty flowers, etc. I try to always take a minute when I see these things to thank God for sending them for my enjoyment. I thank God for the 'bad' things that happen to me too. Why on earth would I do that, you might wonder? Well, here's my opinion. No matter what happens, it could always be worse. I believe that just because something bad happens to me, doesn't mean I'm cursed. It means that God kept something worse from happening. This was the trade off. I believe there's a reason for everything that happens. We don't always know it, it's not for us to know or question. It's enough for me to know that there is a reason. A few examples.

I'm sure you've heard of tinnitus, ringing in the ear? I always thought that would be the worst thing that could happen. It would drive you berserk having a constant, high pitch screeching in your ear all the time. So, of course, I got tinnitus. It was awful, just as I thought. I couldn't sleep at night as the noise was so loud. Every quiet moment was a living hell. I let it control me. Then I thought how stupid that was. If I have it, I have to learn to live with it. I don't want to do a Van Gogh! So, I learned to mask the noise at night with a noise machine or a fan next to my bed. I learned during the quiet times of the day to take my mind off it, to just not let it bother me. I believe that tinnitus is the lesser of health evils. I believe I was 'given' this as it was something I could handle, instead of being 'given' something I couldn't. My friend said to me 'You can't just learn to live with that, you must not have it.' I did, and I do.

I was working in the kitchen a week or so ago. I was chopping away using the largest chef knife in the kitchen, which is very large indeed. I reached over to move a pot on the stove just as my knife fell to the floor. I didn't notice the knife falling as I'd burned my hand on the stove. Of course, when you burn your hand, your whole body moves. I whipped my hand off the stove, moving my body just enough to avoid the 10 inch chef knife that had just impaled itself into the floor. In the exact spot where my foot had been. A tiny burn on the hand or an impaled foot? Hmmmmm I'll take the burn thank you!

Things like this happen all the time. I could bring myself into a level of depression wondering why bad things happen all the time. I choose to think the bad things are really good things. Ya, I'm definitely a glass half full kind of girl!

My son lost his job this winter. One baby at home age 13 months. Wife a few months into a very high risk pregnancy. A house they bought a few years ago that is now worth about 50K less than when they bought it. Grim scenario.

Bad-lost his job. Good-was given a 3 month severance pay package that let him keep his insurance. So much better to thank God for giving him the severance package, than to curse Him for having lost his job.

Bad-Jobless in an over saturated market. He's a mechanical engineer. Auto industry in the toilet. Good-found a new job in the medical field. Praise God.

Bad-three month training period where he had to be away from home M-F leaving his wife, baby boy, and now baby girl home alone. Good-healthy baby girl was born!

Bad-home on the market for 50K less than they paid for it. Even if it sells, they'll still owe money on it. Good-house has been sold. Today, in MI, the way the market is, that's amazing! So, yes, they're out money, but it sure could have been a lot worse. The list goes on.

In summary, I believe everything happens for a reason. I can either be happy and thank God, or I can be miserable.

I choose to be happy and thankful.

:-)

Deep thoughts

"Tonight I feel like an old violin.
Soon to be put away;
And never played again."
J.P.

Hot flashes

Suck.

That's all I have to say about that.

You can take the girl out of the trailer...

We're camping.

For those of you that don't know me, or know what our rig is like, let me fill you in. We have a pretty new 35 foot 5th wheel with 3 sliders. It's awesome! I found a picture from the day we got it a few years ago. See below. So, right now, I'm sitting in my recliner with my feet up typing this blog. Ya...it sucks to be me.



Earlier tonight, we'd arrived back at our meager abode after a day of work. Our campground is fabulous. It's got a lovely swimming pool and jacuzzi. The swimming pool has a sculpture of 4 dolphins with water shooting out of their mouths. You can swim through their spit. How cool is that? We've got full hook up here. Water, 50 amp electric, sewer, cable TV, Wi-Fi...the whole shebang.

As I said we worked today and then drove back here. I thought a lovely pre-dinner snack of a wholegrain french baguette with fresh, creamy butter, assorted cheeses, chilled to perfection white wine, and some cold, crisp, grapes would be lovely. How sophisticated right?

So, I didn't have any wine glasses here, in fact, we planned this trip in such a hurry, I failed to notice we didn't have ANY glasses on board. Classy chick that I am, I didn't slug the wine out of the bottle. Oh no no no.

I drank my wine out of a Tupperware 2 cup measuring cup. Finished the whole bottle too by golly!

I had my cheese on a Styrofoam plate.

I had no bread knife so I just tore hunks off the loaf.

Cheese? Slap it on the foam plate next to the bread and call it good.

Napkins? Nah, that's what God made a tongue for.

You can take the girl out of the trailer...but ya just can't take the trailer out of the girl!

Life is so freakin good right now!

:-)

Junk mail

It always amazes me to hear on the news that someone was taken in an email scam. I read the things and think how could anyone ever think it's a legitimate offer? How can you think you've won something you didn't enter? They do. Every day.

Let's ponder my junk mail folder shall we?

I have my email set to exclusive. If you're not on my email list, I don't get your mail, it goes into junk mail. I have to look through the junk mail folder as sometimes people on my list end up in there. With me so far?

Now daily, I get mail offering me extra inches. I'm not sure what I'd do with extra inches, I've got all the inches I need I assure you. I get the 'earn your diploma' emails, and the 'lose weight the Oprah way' emails. No thanks, I'll do both my own way.

This afternoon's fare includes the following 19 emails:

Oprah promises I can fit into my skinny jeans in 2 weeks. Um, not unless she's got a sharp knife and a lot of suction hose. I can participate in a free acai weight loss trail. Free is spelled fr33, and weight is spelled we1ght. You know it's legitimate when they use funny spellings on words!

I can of course make more money with a college degree from Topschools.com. Oh yes, I think I shall. Oh, oh, oh, no....Ebay needs eWorkers ASAP...I think I'll do that instead! I'm sure I'll make a fortune and I bet they won't want any money up front!

I can clear up my skin with Neutrogena skinID, get a stimulus package to reduce the debt I owe(thank God, I've been trying to do that on my own with no luck), and it's pet appreciation month so I get free pictures! Wooooooooohoooooooo!

My luck must be changing because I've apparently won a Dell computer. Hmmmm funny, I don't remember entering anything to win one, but I guess I did! I'll just enter my personal information so they can send it to me!

Mr. Abdul Isa has informed me that some American has died with no will. Gasp? Really??? He says: "my proposal is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand in as the next of kin to Mr. Charles Balassi so that the fruits of his labor will not get into the hands of the government. This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address, Country of Origin, Residence, Age and Phone Number, and Your Sex." Oh you bet doll face, it's all on the way! I'm going to be rich!!!!! It's 100% risk free, old Abdul assured me!

I'm getting 2 nights free in Ft. Lauderdale, and my Google G2 phone has finally arrived! I don't know WTF a Google G2 phone is, but I'm sure I can't live without it as soon as I send my shipping fee in!! Just in time too as Verizon is offering me really great calling plans!

Eharmony wants to help me find singles like me. Hmmmm I've been married 31 years...I better check into that one. Oh no, forget that, my sex life is sorted as Sexygirl22 wants to get to know me better. I'm adding her to my Facebook account right now!

Then there's one from Don. I'm not sure what exactly he wanted...I'll let you know as soon as I click on the link and enter all my personal information.

Oh crap...I need to run now as if I don't enter my name, user name, password, birth date, social security number, and address, after clicking on the enclosed link, they're going to close my Hotmail account!

They do indeed walk among us.

I want to laugh

Those of you that know me, know I'm predominately a happy person. I can't say I've ever been depressed, I don't worry about things. Sure, there are problems in my life, I just don't worry about them as it doesn't do any good. Yes, they pop into my mind, but I'm one of the lucky few that can just say 'oh well, nothing I can do' and move on to other things. There are things I'd like, but I look at those as dreams and not "oh I don't have them's".

I don't have any money. I'd like some. I'm working, Den is working, there is nothing else I can do to get any money, so no use worrying about it.

I'd like to sell my house and live in FL full time. Economy sucks, can't sell my house here in MI. Have to do that before we can buy a bigger place in FL. It's fun to dream of that day.

I'd like Den and I neither one to have to work. That'll happen. It'll be awesome when it does.

I am happy.

I was working today. A grueling 9.5 hour day if you must know. Really kicked my ass. I was tired when I went in and it never got better.

A table of people I know came in. There were 8 of them. They stayed 2 hours or more. They laughed and laughed and laughed. They laughed so hard other people were smiling...it's contagious you know. That's when I realized I've not had a good belly laugh in a long time. I miss that. I do that a lot in FL.

My friends from FL aren't here to make me laugh. I'll just have to do it on my own.

I'm thinking "The Birdcage" might do the trick. It's one of my favorite movies of all times. Ian mentioned it in his blog this morning and even just the mention of it made me laugh.

Yes, I think that's the ticket.

:-)