Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Deep thoughts

"Tonight I feel like an old violin.
Soon to be put away;
And never played again."

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Hot flashes


That's all I have to say about that.

Monday, July 20, 2009

You can take the girl out of the trailer...

We're camping.

For those of you that don't know me, or know what our rig is like, let me fill you in. We have a pretty new 35 foot 5th wheel with 3 sliders. It's awesome! I found a picture from the day we got it a few years ago. See below. So, right now, I'm sitting in my recliner with my feet up typing this blog. Ya...it sucks to be me.

Earlier tonight, we'd arrived back at our meager abode after a day of work. Our campground is fabulous. It's got a lovely swimming pool and jacuzzi. The swimming pool has a sculpture of 4 dolphins with water shooting out of their mouths. You can swim through their spit. How cool is that? We've got full hook up here. Water, 50 amp electric, sewer, cable TV, Wi-Fi...the whole shebang.

As I said we worked today and then drove back here. I thought a lovely pre-dinner snack of a wholegrain french baguette with fresh, creamy butter, assorted cheeses, chilled to perfection white wine, and some cold, crisp, grapes would be lovely. How sophisticated right?

So, I didn't have any wine glasses here, in fact, we planned this trip in such a hurry, I failed to notice we didn't have ANY glasses on board. Classy chick that I am, I didn't slug the wine out of the bottle. Oh no no no.

I drank my wine out of a Tupperware 2 cup measuring cup. Finished the whole bottle too by golly!

I had my cheese on a Styrofoam plate.

I had no bread knife so I just tore hunks off the loaf.

Cheese? Slap it on the foam plate next to the bread and call it good.

Napkins? Nah, that's what God made a tongue for.

You can take the girl out of the trailer...but ya just can't take the trailer out of the girl!

Life is so freakin good right now!


Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Junk mail

It always amazes me to hear on the news that someone was taken in an email scam. I read the things and think how could anyone ever think it's a legitimate offer? How can you think you've won something you didn't enter? They do. Every day.

Let's ponder my junk mail folder shall we?

I have my email set to exclusive. If you're not on my email list, I don't get your mail, it goes into junk mail. I have to look through the junk mail folder as sometimes people on my list end up in there. With me so far?

Now daily, I get mail offering me extra inches. I'm not sure what I'd do with extra inches, I've got all the inches I need I assure you. I get the 'earn your diploma' emails, and the 'lose weight the Oprah way' emails. No thanks, I'll do both my own way.

This afternoon's fare includes the following 19 emails:

Oprah promises I can fit into my skinny jeans in 2 weeks. Um, not unless she's got a sharp knife and a lot of suction hose. I can participate in a free acai weight loss trail. Free is spelled fr33, and weight is spelled we1ght. You know it's legitimate when they use funny spellings on words!

I can of course make more money with a college degree from Topschools.com. Oh yes, I think I shall. Oh, oh, oh, no....Ebay needs eWorkers ASAP...I think I'll do that instead! I'm sure I'll make a fortune and I bet they won't want any money up front!

I can clear up my skin with Neutrogena skinID, get a stimulus package to reduce the debt I owe(thank God, I've been trying to do that on my own with no luck), and it's pet appreciation month so I get free pictures! Wooooooooohoooooooo!

My luck must be changing because I've apparently won a Dell computer. Hmmmm funny, I don't remember entering anything to win one, but I guess I did! I'll just enter my personal information so they can send it to me!

Mr. Abdul Isa has informed me that some American has died with no will. Gasp? Really??? He says: "my proposal is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand in as the next of kin to Mr. Charles Balassi so that the fruits of his labor will not get into the hands of the government. This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address, Country of Origin, Residence, Age and Phone Number, and Your Sex." Oh you bet doll face, it's all on the way! I'm going to be rich!!!!! It's 100% risk free, old Abdul assured me!

I'm getting 2 nights free in Ft. Lauderdale, and my Google G2 phone has finally arrived! I don't know WTF a Google G2 phone is, but I'm sure I can't live without it as soon as I send my shipping fee in!! Just in time too as Verizon is offering me really great calling plans!

Eharmony wants to help me find singles like me. Hmmmm I've been married 31 years...I better check into that one. Oh no, forget that, my sex life is sorted as Sexygirl22 wants to get to know me better. I'm adding her to my Facebook account right now!

Then there's one from Don. I'm not sure what exactly he wanted...I'll let you know as soon as I click on the link and enter all my personal information.

Oh crap...I need to run now as if I don't enter my name, user name, password, birth date, social security number, and address, after clicking on the enclosed link, they're going to close my Hotmail account!

They do indeed walk among us.